Kindness and Firmness

I have recently re-arranged the schedule so that I have Monday and Thursday afternoons off. For many reasons; but mostly to save my sanity, get office work and run errands inside the workweek, and spend time just being with Layla. So, on Monday afternoon Layla and I went to run errands and stopped at the public library to get some new board books for her. While I was there I also checked out a book called “The No-Cry Discipline Solution” by Elizabeth Pantley. Besides being influenced by Adlerian psychology like the “Positive Discipline” series by Jane Nelson (that I already love), it is really easy to read and busy-parent friendly. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a little positive inspiration in the discipline department and it emphasizes topics like: interrupting, hitting, sibling conflicts, restaurant behavior, sharing, yelling, and whining.
I’d like to incorporate some of the more helpful key points into my blog. The following excerpt is taken directly from the book:

It’s Okay to Have Fun, It’s Okay to Be Firm

You don’t always have to use clever skill (like singing and dancing with pajamas on your head- although sometimes that works wonders) to get your child to cooperate with you. There are plenty of times when you’ll just want to say it straight up. When you do, try to follow these basic rules:
• Get eye to eye. Try not to call from a distance or mumble directions.
• Say what you mean. Don’t make threats, don’t use empty words.
• Be clear and specific. Don’t make vague requests. Don’t make your child guess what you want.
• Be polite. “Please” and “thank you” are magic words for parents to use too.
• Stay calm. Anger just makes things worse.
• Follow through with action. Take him by the hand; give her the coat that you want her to put on, lead him back to the mess he left with the blocks on the floor. “Help” your child do what you ask them to do.
• Be consistent. The more you follow these steps the easier it gets for both of you.


Bonnie Brings in Musical Instruments from her trip to Guatemala:

Make a Smilebox postcard